Polarized thinking is a cognitive distortion. In other words, it’s a reasoning mistake we make without realizing it. It makes us process information incorrectly and this leads to emotional distress.

Cognitive distortions were described by and Aaron Beck. In general, they’re misconceptions that lead to dysfunctional emotional states. This includes irrational fears, feeling sad for no reason, etc. Polarized thinking is one of many forms of cognitive distortion.

Polarized thinking is an extreme simplification of reality. Things are either black or white, good or bad. We don’t see the nuances that exist between one extreme and another. People with this type of feel comfortable placing reality between two extremes. Why does it happen? How do we beat it? Let’s take a look.

The main characteristic of polarized thought is the tendency to generalize and encompass different realities under one category. Therefore, people who think like this often use absolute words such as “always”, “never”, “everything”, and “nothing”. They do this automatically and put every isolated incident that comes their way into one of those boxes.

These extreme categories are generally very . They’re used to reiterate the existence of something bad. People who think this way usually say things like “I do everything wrong” or “Everyone takes advantage of me”.

For those who have polarized thoughts, it’s as if nuances didn’t exist. They build a great deal of their around those classifications and look for a way to fit everything around them. Although reality proves that they’re mistaken, they resist abandoning their radicalization.

In general, polarized thinking is a characteristic of those who adopt a role in life. No one does this because they want to. It’s an emotional block caused by bad experiences. At the root of it all, they believe they’ve experienced bad things that they didn’t deserve.

The victim takes on the role of a passive object of circumstances or “destiny”. They don’t believe that they have any control over the negative things they’ve experienced nor how they’ve handled them. Instead, they believe that they’ve been a passive depository for pain and can’t do anything about it.

People who consider themselves victims haven’t discovered tools nor acquired resources they can use to overcome many of their challenges. Instead, they project their resentment and develop polarized thinking.

This type of thinking stems from prior unresolved challenges.  Believing that you’re the victim allows you to relieve yourself of . To escape, you have to accept that you’re responsible for what happens to you and, above all, for how you respond.

A good way to start is to pay attention to our automatic responses and to ring a mental alarm when we say categorical words like “never”, “always”, “everything”, or “nothing”. Afterward, we should stop and think about just how unreasonable our statement is.

Maybe it’s a romantic relationship in which we’re unhappy or a job we feel is too demanding.

Is putting up with it our only option? Or are there other ways out that we’re afraid to take? Perhaps polarized thinking is an indicator that we’re not taking ourselves seriously enough. Maybe we need some time and space to think about what we’re dealing with.

The contents of Exploring Your Mind are for informational and educational purposes only. They don't replace the diagnosis, advice, or treatment of a professional. In the case of any doubt, it's best to consult a trusted specialist.

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